St Thomas the Apostle: A meditation for the faithless  

This meditation can be used in different ways. You could sit with it for a while and take time to reflect on different words and phrases. But most of us flick by things like this at more of a pace: just more words that we absorb in our hurried catching up. That’s okay too. This piece is intentionally short for that reason. Maybe a word, an idea or a question will remain with you into the day. Stop here for as long as you are able. And no longer. Use this place as a quiet pause, a deep breath, a moment for your soul to listen and speak.

It might help you to know a bit more about the story that has inspired this piece. If so, you can read it here.


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You are worried you are faithless
Because questions overwhelm certainty:
Heart-wrenching doubts that threaten to pull you
Away
From what, for one, fleeting moment,
Felt like truth.

Faith seems ungraspable
Slippery as sand through your hands.
You may hold a little, for a time,
And yet when you unwrap your clenched fist
What is left, but mere grains?

Do not worry about your questions:
Hear them
Cherish them
Sing them from the rooftops
Because faith and doubt are dancing partners
And there are greater threats to overcome.

Worry, instead, about your apathy
A spiritual sleepiness
That can’t be bothered to move words to action.

Worry about your shallow fears
Of failure, of imperfection, of humiliation
Which will bolster your ego and cripple your faith.

Worry about the certainty
That slams a door on dialogue
And silences the gentle wooing of the Spirit.

Worry about the damning shame
That shouts YOU ARE NO GOOD
And drowns out Vocation’s voices.

Worry about false security
The pillars of health and wealth that hide your need of faith:
One day, these pillars will crumble.

Worry about the need to control
And loosen your white knuckle hold on life:
Let go before control is snatched from you.

Worry about your worry
Spinning out of control
And refusing to be bound by loving reason.

But never worry about your questions
Never fear your unknowns
Never tame your explorations
And
Never rest
In your quest for faith.

 

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